Life is not always kind. We don't always get what we want. We don't even get what our parents want for us, which would at least make them happy. Sometimes everything goes south at once: The longed-for love doesn't show up or goes away; the dream job is given to an inexperienced, two-faced brownnoser; the dog dies; the sink clogs; the snap of your jeans pops open when you bend down to pick up the hefty stack of bills on the mat and you're left standing there, thinking, "The best part of my run was back when I was 25. From here on out, I just have to slog through."

Which is exactly when you must remember a little secret that I am about to share with you. All of us—even the darkest and unluckiest of us—get seven particular moments, those brief, unexpected times when the stars do more than align; they communally redirect their light expressly to illuminate the value of our wee, earthly existence.

These moments sometimes go unnoticed and are almost always unexpected. They are not subject to the vicissitudes of your success or failure. They are not something you can blame yourself for not experiencing sooner or flog yourself into experiencing now. They are on their own time schedule. They have happened to you or will happen to you sooner or later. The key is not letting them slip by uncelebrated.

1. You (senselessly) win.

You toss your business card into a bowl at a Chinese restaurant and win six free egg rolls every month for one entire year. Or you pick up the phone and hear a stranger asking you the names of all four Beatles, which you know and which you recite to him, prompting him to scream out to his radio audience that you are the proud new owner of a KitchenAid dishwasher.

This feeling is not the same as winning at a craps table or a Lotto drawing. This is about a windfall without effort, a windfall that you're not even sure you want—say, a deluxe all-expenses-paid trip to Hackensack, New Jersey—but that fills you with great, swelling joy at getting something undreamed of for free, something only you get to get.

2. You're seen.

It happens without fanfare. Someone somewhere looks across the room and sees past the face your family gave you. They also see past the face that you put on over that face, the one composed of TV gestures (a hint: you were not born doing any kind of hair flipping) and mysterious magazine-made smiles and the smooth, dull, blank look that overtakes our eyes when we decide we will not cry, not in front of other people.

This someone sees you, down to your intelligence, your fear of being alone, your ability to whistle on pitch. It might be the teacher who asks if you would do her the honor of passing out the graham crackers today at recess. It might be the grocery-store manager who spots your bag breaking at the exit—your eggs and yogurt splashing all over the door, your whole horrible, failing marriage spattered all over your frozen expression—and runs up and down the aisles, filling a new bag with unbroken items, plus tosses in a bouquet of flowers just to cheer you up. It might even be the friend who thinks the way you snort-laugh is charming. There is somebody out there who gets it—it being you.

3. You get the opportunity to learn about something bigger than yourself.

I know what this one sounds like: You get to go through something horrible and wrenching, and then we'll pretend there is some kind of silver lining. But that's not what I mean. I'm talking about the awakening of grace, the time in life when you first begin to accrue the kind of wisdom that will allow you to feel for a friend when she has lost a father or gotten separated, not because you have lost a father or gotten separated but because you have lost someone or something and the experience opened a door of genuine understanding. You are now able to hold hands with another person and connect with them at the very time they feel most alone.

4. You're spared.

I believe we all share a common yearning for happiness and ultimately love. Each of us has our own unique journey in discovering these ultimate ends. But what are the determinants of happiness and our conditions of well-being — our genuine wealth? What, as Robert Kennedy challenged, makes life worthwhile? How might we measure our happiness and incorporate these measures into conventional economic measures of progress like the GDP?

Prompted by such nagging questions I began a journey into the origins of economic thought and economic systems. I realized that economics is more like a religion than either art or science. The more I probed its tenets, the more the scales of economic dogma fell from my own eyes and the eyes of those with whom I shared my ideas. In a sense our hearts began to open to truths that have long been stifled.

While some have defined economics as the dismal science, I find it akin to religion precisely because economic principles and tools form the guidance system of our modern states. Economists are the high priests of our capitalist systems. I count myself among the economic priesthood — but I am a priest who longs to understand the very premises and value-origins of our thought. As a professor of business and economics, I have found a hunger among my students to understand more clearly the articles of faith behind business practices. Many students question whether profit and financial wealth maximization should be the primary goals of business; they long for a more meaningful world where corporations are governed by ethics and principles of social and environmental responsibility. I am buoyed by this new generation of business and economic graduates who understand at the heart level that the current “new world order” can and must change.

In economics we have reduced humanity to a collection of individual, independent, utility maximizing creatures. Success is defined by the accumulation of material and financial wealth over a lifetime. We are born into this free market ideology without questioning its morality or ethical foundations. So watermarked is this spirit of economics and capitalism on our lives that even though our hearts cry out for a more meaningful and genuine existence, we are sucked back into the squirrel cage of capitalism, running faster and faster to "keep up with the Jones,”  lamenting as we imagine a simpler, more meaningful, more genuine life.

I firmly believe we are at an important tipping point in human history. A shared consciousness is emerging which will be supported by enlightened, life-affirming economics. This book presents my future vision: stewardship of what I call Genuine Wealth – those conditions of well-being that align with our heartfelt values about what makes life worth living.

via Genuine Wealth – Inside the Book.

Ever since last Tuesday, Nancy Brinker has been at the center of a firestorm. That was when word finally surfaced that Susan G. Komen for the Cure, of which she is the founder, had decided to defund Planned Parenthood. The repercussions were swift and came from every level: social media, mainstream press, Congress 26 Democratic senators wrote a letter, members of its own board, scientists, donors, and the general public. New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg was so dismayed that he donated $250,000 to Planned Parenthood to ease the shortfall.

The decision quickly became a public-relations fiasco that caught the organization totally off guard and rocked it to its core. "We really were surprised by the backlash, things got totally out of hand,” says former board chair Alexine Jackson. "I guess it will never be completely over, but I hope the reaction will eventually die down.”

via Komen for the Cure: How the Groups Founder Courted Controversy – The Daily Beast.

Vitamin E is one of our most important anti-oxidant vitamins. It fights against free radicals, helping to protect our arteries from cholesterol buildup and our cells from cancer. Vitamin E also keeps our blood cells flexible and healthy, and plays a role in reducing inflammation.

Back in the 1980’s and ‘90’s, many doctors and scientists believed that high doses of supplemental vitamin E offered a safe and easy way to protect the heart. They based this assumption on the findings of studies that suggested that people whose diets included substantial amounts of vitamin E were less prone to heart attacks. Furthermore, since vitamin E is “natural,” how could it cause any harm?

Although only 22.4 International Units (IU) of vitamin E are necessary to maintain health, supplemental doses of 400-1200 IU were routinely recommended, even though no research had been done on the safety of effectiveness of these supplements.

Subsequent research has found that doses in this range may actually increase the risk for congestive heart failure in vulnerable individuals, and reduce the effectiveness of some cholesterol medications. Doses of 1000 IU may prolong bleeding times.

In October, the results of the Selenium and Vitamin E Cancer Prevention Trial were reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association. The trial was started with the optimistic idea that perhaps vitamin E and selenium could reduce prostate cancer. Over 35,000 men aged 50 or older were enrolled. They were assigned to vitamin E (400 IU daily), selenium (200 mcg daily), both supplements, or placebo.

The results were disappointing and sobering. After a follow-up period of seven years, those men who took the vitamin E supplements were 17 percent more likely to have developed prostate cancer. Selenium was basically a wash, with no substantial effect on cancer risk.

via Vitamin E: A Supplement Whose Time has Passed | Healthline.

Every couple argues. Some of the do it overtly by yelling at each other while others do it covertly by avoiding contact and conversation. Whatever the method, the result is the same – hurt feelings and disenchantment. Here are my tips to help you argue constructively, if done correctly it can be a pathway to growth and problem solving.

Understand that anger itself is not destructive. There is a vast difference between anger and rage. When someone is angry they need to state their feelings, they don't break things or relationships – that is ragefull behavior.

Talk about your feelings before you get angry. When you or your partner can approach the situation as it happens and deal with it in a safe way, it may not get to the point of being an argument. Sometimes things just need to be verbalized and most arguments can be avoided if your partner understands how you feel.

Don't raise your voice. It's amazing how issues of hurt feelings or differences can be resolved with a whisper. I counsel couples who are yellers to only communicate with a whisper and it greatly reduces the anger factor in their relationships.

Don't threaten your relationship. And don't take every argument as a threat to your relationship. This type of emotional blackmail puts the other partner in a panic/flight or flight mode. While you're telling them you want to leave, they may be making plans to find a roommate. In addition, they may be so devastated by the thought of losing their family they can go into a deep depression and be unable to give you what it is you need.

Don't stockpile. This is where you bring up issues from the past to use as a hammer against whatever problem your partner has asked for help with. Deal with their issue first and if you really have unresolved feelings from past problems talk about them at another time.

Don't avoid your anger. If you stuff your feelings long enough you will explode and say or do things that you will regret. Anger does not diminish love, you can be angry with those you love. In fact the ones we love hurt us the most because we love them the most. 

Create a process for resolving problems without anger. Start by each of you taking five minutes to state your feelings, then take a twenty minute break to think about things and come back to the table for another ten minutes to discuss how you think you can best deal with the problem. Also, know that it's okay if the problem doesn't get solved right away.

Continued at … 10 Tips for Fighting Fair | Psychology Today.

February, besides being the shortest month of the year also happens to be Black History Month. A month where past achievements by blacks are recognized. Really? Why just this month? Are these achievements less important, less spectacular, or have less impact if recognized all year-long?

The Civil Rights movement fought against segregation for decades and now we're encouraging a part of history to be segregated? If you have children, it is always a good time to tell them about Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, and Langston Hughes. Not because they were black but because they were great. History books in schools should also follow that maxim, reminding students that great history is colourless.

Although not impossible, I'm not sure how Black History Month can continue to evolve. I always clutch my pearls when I read or hear Oprah Winfrey being described in various media platforms as "a black T.V. host" or when art is described as "black art." And, even if Barack Obama is black and also happens to be President of the United States of America, referring to him as a black president is retro. And not in a good way.

Everything about how we live today encourages the breakdown of all barriers. Sticking the colour of their skin to successful people is simply foolish. And that's exactly what Black History Month does.

I understand why Black History Month was first introduced and I applaud those who have made it the powerhouse it is today. Many large corporations have made it an important staple in their fiscal calendars, which is admirable. Still, I think it's time to rethink BHM. I look forward to the day when all great achievements will be celebrated all year long and when history will be measured by its impact, not by its colour.

via Martine St-Victor: Time to Get Rid of Black History Month.

With the cold and flu season still kicking around, heading out to the pharmacy every week can get annoying — and expensive. But finding the best solutions to fight your viruses can be right in front of you.We all know eating foods that are rich in nutrients can be good for our health, but some say eating them while youre sick is even better."Food plays a role in how we look, but we often forget that it massively affects how we feel," says health coach and Huffington Post UK blogger Polly Noble. "When you eat, you feed not only your stomach but your cells. If those cells dont get nourished with the vitamins and minerals they need, your body can start to malfunction," Noble says.Topical BioMedics has partnered up with Roufia Payman, the director of outpatient nutritional services at Northern Dutchess Hospital in New York, to come up with the tastiest solutions to fighting cold and flu viruses.Here are Paymans top immunity-boosting foods for optimum healing and wellness.

Chicken Noodle Soup:

Grandma was right — nothing beats chicken soup for fending off sniffles. Not only does it provide the fluids needed to help fight off viruses, it's a powerful mucus stimulant so it helps clear nasal congestion as well as thin mucus. It's also thought to have a mild anti-inflammatory effect than can help ease cold symptoms. Keep some organic chicken stock on hand, because studies have found that even commercial soup is as effective as homemade.

Onion And Garlic:

If you want to punch up the healing power of your chicken soup — or any other dish — add plenty of garlic and onions. When combined, these flavorful healers contain numerous antiseptic and immunity boosting compounds. As an added plus, garlic helps to open clogged sinuses.

Mushrooms: 

No herbal medicine cabinet should be without mushrooms. They increase the production of cytokines, which are cells that help fight off infection. They also contain polysaccharides, which are compounds that support the immune system. The most potent cold- and flu-fighting shrooms are shitake, maitake and reishi.

Citrus Fruits:

Citrus fruits contain hefty doses of powerhouse vitamin C. Studies have found that this antioxidant can reduce cold symptoms by 23 per cent, and all that's needed is just one to eight grams (1,000 to 8,000 milligrams) to do the trick. Besides citrus fruits, other foods that have high amounts of vitamin C include papaya, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, tomatoes, broccoli, brussel sprouts and red bell peppers.

Yogurt:

Studies have shown that eating a cup of low-fat yogurt each day can reduce your susceptibility to colds by 25 percent. The beneficial bacteria is Lactobacillus reuteri which has been found to block the replication of viruses that invade the body when we get sick. Not all brands have that particular bacteria, so check labels and be sure to go organic.

Immune-Boosting Supplements: 

While yogurt is a great source of probiotics, some have more than others and we can really benefit by taking an additional supplement. Other immune-booster "musts" are vitamin D and Omega 3 fatty acid.

Hot Tea:

Hot tea is soothing and a great home remedy, helping to thin mucus and ensure proper hydration. For added health benefit, sip green or black tea — both are filled with flavonoids, which are potent antioxidants.

Ginger:

Ginger comes to the aid when we're sick in some powerful ways. Besides soothing a scratchy throat, it has chemicals called sesquiterpenes that target rhinoviruses — which are the most common family of cold viruses — as well as substances that help suppress coughing. Ginger is also a natural pain and fever reducer and a mild sedative so you — ll feel more comfortable and be able to rest easier. Add a couple of tablespoons of shredded gingerroot to your tea, or make ginger tea (it comes in tea bags, but you can also simmer fresh sliced ginger to make a potent brew).

Honey:

Honey has numerous medicinal properties and because it coats your throat it is a natural way to soothe sore throats. It also has antioxidant and antimicrobial properties to help fight infections from viruses, bacteria, and fungi. Skip the common clover honey that you'll find in the supermarket as it has the lowest antioxidant level. Look for buckwheat honey, which has the highest. (A note of caution: never give honey to children under one years of age because their immune systems are not developed enough to ward off infantile botulism, which is carried in honey spores.).

Continued at …   Top Foods For Your Immune System: 11 Foods To Boost Your Immunity.

Piercing, shooting, burning, stabbing—even the vocabulary of chronic pain is distressing. Most people who live with it would do almost anything for relief. But medication can compound your problems with other risks: Narcotic painkillers and nonsteroidal anti-inflammatories (NSAIDs), for example, may cause gastrointestinal bleeding, heart attack, and stroke. The good news is, researchers are demonstrating that alternative remedies can complement and sometimes even replace these heavy-duty drugs. A few I swear by:

The Pain: Lower backache

Nature's RX: Devil's claw

The Khoisan tribes of the Kalahari Desert used this herb as a pain remedy for thousands of years before it was introduced to Europe in the early 1900s. One study found that devil's claw—which contains an anti-inflammatory agent called harpagoside—was just as effective as the prescription NSAID Vioxx, which was immensely popular before it was withdrawn from the market due to its cardiovascular side effects. I recommend taking an extract that provides 50 to 100 milligrams of harpagoside daily for as long as your pain lasts.

The Pain: Migraine

Nature's RX: Butterbur root

When a migraine strikes, cells in the brain release chemicals that cause inflammation. By interfering with some of those chemicals, butterbur can provide relief. In a study of migraine patients, 68 percent of those who took butterbur root reduced their number of attacks by at least 50 percent. Take 75 to 100 milligrams twice a day on an ongoing basis.

The Pain: Arthritis

Nature's RX: Fish oil

A 2009 study on osteoarthritis showed that people who regularly took a supplement rich in fish oil were able to reduce their use of pain meds by half. The oil's omega-3s help decrease the production of various chemicals that cause inflammation and pain in the joints. Look for a supplement that contains both EPA and DHA omega-3s, and take four to six grams a day.

The Pain: Menstrual cramps

Nature's RX: Vitamin E

Cramping is attributed to hormone-like compounds called prostaglandins, which cause the uterus to contract and expel its lining; women who have higher levels of prostaglandins get more intense cramps. Vitamin E can lower the levels of prostaglandins, and studies have shown that it can significantly reduce menstrual pain. Begin taking 400 IU a few days before your period, and continue through the first three days.

via How to Relieve Chronic Pain Naturally – Natural Painkillers – Oprah.com.

Author Tracy McMillan knows a thing or two about getting over a bad childhood. Her father was a drug-dealing pimp and convicted felon who spent most of his daughter's life behind bars. Her prostitute mother gave her away. Here's what she wants you to know about getting over your past.

1. Get a New Story

There are two ways for me to look at my childhood story. In one, I'm a person who is so unloved and unwanted, my own mother gave me away. In the other, I was born, took a look around at my prostitute mother and criminal father, and said to myself, "I can totally do better than this. Get your stuff, we're leaving." In one I'm a victim, in the other, I'm in power. Guess which viewpoint got me the career I have today?

2. Realize Blame = Same

Blame is awesome. It feels good, right? It feels righteous. It feels powerful. It feels like someone's going to pay for what they did to you. The only problem is—as long as you're blaming—nothing can ever change. Why? Because in order for your life to change, you have to want things to be different. And if it feels good to blame, you have to admit that you like it. And if you like it, you have to admit that you don't really want it to change. Which is why blame just gets you more of the same.

3. Pretend You Work at Target

Sometimes, I look at my bad childhood like it's an unruly customer and I'm working customer service the day after Christmas. It'll be acting up, moaning and complaining about how hard everything is, and how unfair it all is. I just have to say to it, "Yes, I see you, ma'am. I know you have a problem. But right now I'm busy, so please have a seat. I''ll be with you just as soon as I can." Then I do something productive that will actually change my situation, like go to work.

4. Accept the Fact That Some People Don't Really Want to See You Succeed

This sounds harsh, and it is. But it's true. Some of your family and friends "support" you by cosigning all your b.s. about how hard you have it, because if you succeed, two things will happen: 1) You will leave. And 2) They will be left behind. This doesn't mean you have to get rid of your friends and family, you just have to remember that they love you so much, they're perfectly happy for you to stay exactly where you are right now.

5. Decide to KSA (Kick Some Ass)

When my 13-year-old said he hated science class, I told him that getting a 95 on the test was the equivalent of getting in the face of his least favorite teacher and saying, "Have some!" In other words, kicking ass on the test is just like playing a video game. Needless to say, he's getting As now. Channeling your anger will get you a long, long way in life.

Continued at …   7 Best Pieces of Advice for People Who Want to Move Past a Rotten Childhood – Oprah.com.